Academic Safety Net

At the start of every semester, students in Paragraph City storm the bookstore for the purchase of things academic. Along with their books and Bics, each is issued the standard college safety net.
This is a distressingly familiar item to our students. Some subscribe to the notion that it’s the most important item they get, having depended upon it in the past more than books or notes, concentration or memory. But if you are around when the packages are opened, you hear four kinds of disappointment.

“Why is it so small?”
“Whatsitmean, it’s nonreusable?”
“Is it supposed to have these holes in it?”
“Not very stretchy, is it?”

The safety nets they used in high school might extend across an auditorium, bounce dropped grades like bowling balls on a trampoline, and convert a History D- to a B+ as easily as a Geometry 66% to a 94%. Certain nets, by Addidas or Nike, would catch multiple grades simultaneously and only start to show signs of wear into the Junior year of high school. And if by some chance an English teacher didn’t failure-proof his class, fine mesh Kevlar nets were amply available from principles, guidance counselors, school boards and even parents in helicopters. By the time Commencement arrived, even stumble-drunk, blindfolded bozos with clown shoes and vertigo could ride unicycles on tightwires 15 feet above the gym hardwood.

All of which doesn’t prepare people too well for our single use disposable, pocket handkerchief sized, college-ruled safety nets.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Math with Bad Drawings

Math, teaching, copious metaphors, and drawings that will never ever earn a spot on the fridge

Incurably Stir Crazy

because life is too short to sit still

University Diaries

A million stories in Paragraph City. Some of them wander onto my campus.

SpeEdChange

A million stories in Paragraph City. Some of them wander onto my campus.

Classroom as Microcosm

Siobhan Curious Says: Teachers are People Too

Joanne Jacobs

Thinking and Linking by Joanne Jacobs

Confessions of a Community College Dean

A million stories in Paragraph City. Some of them wander onto my campus.

Ferule & Fescue

A million stories in Paragraph City. Some of them wander onto my campus.

%d bloggers like this: